Essential, Random and Frivolous Thoughts of a Cabinet Maker

Self -reflection can be a powerful tool for us to see our missteps – our blind spots. But, we must be open to the idea that we have them. That we are flawed. Blemished. Another words, we’re human.

But, from these shortcomings can growth be found. Without a doubt. It just depends on how deep we would like to search. The deeper the plunge into ourselves, the more cracks in the armor we will find. How comfortable does that make you? How important is it to you to repair those cracks?

For me, that’s one of the main purposes of this journey on earth. Or maybe it’s THE purpose of our time here; To become the best version of ourselves we can be with the tools that we’ve been given.

In order to this, we’re going to need some help. We all do. From others. From our friends, our spouses, our family and our colleagues. We need their help in identifying our blind spots and knowing how we’re showing up in the world. We cannot see them. Hence the name “blind spot.”

Often times we make the assumption that we can go it alone. I believe that’s as smart as performing an operation on yourself. At some point in time, we need to trust, rely and count on others to help us to see the big picture.

The hardest part can be asking for their help. I believe these moments are the beginnings of a deep and meaningful relationship.

I often think about what Wayne Dyer said years ago before he was about to give a a talk as a keynote speaker in front of hundreds of people. He was backstage and someone came up to him and told him that the space shuttle had blown up on it’s ascent into our outer atmosphere. All seven people aboard were dead.

Moments later, he was introduced over the speakers and was expected to walk out on stage. He did, but he couldn’t help but share his experience with the audience before beginning his scripted speech as he processed this new information.

I found it quite fascinating what he said and I’m still not sure how to process information such as that in today’s world. With all the chaos and divisiveness that is apparent in today’s news, how do we continue to stay focused on our work while stay engaged with our world and have empathy for those who are in such pain and sorrow?

His question was quite poignant; How am I supposed to feel after hearing such devastating news? No doubt, empathy and sadness for all the families and friends who lost their loved ones. And maybe there is no way you’re “supposed” to feel. Maybe the way you feel is exactly where you need to be.

I think about that when I hear what is going on in our world today; war, violence, suffering, divisiveness, oppression, grief, and pain. How am I supposed to feel? Maybe there’s no correct answer, other than we feel the way we feel when we hear of such things.

Wayne Dyer was an extremely loving man. An empathetic man. A forgiving man. A smart man. He understood that we have to release the shackles of our own chains that bind us by hanging onto resentment, past pain and hate. As he stood over the grave of his alcoholic father who was the cause of so much pain for his mother, brother and himself, he found a way to forgive him and move forward in LOVE. Maybe that’s the answer.

I’m not sure how we are supposed to react and behave, but it has to come from a place of LOVE. It has to.

I think it would be safe to say we all have a distorted view of ourselves. I guess that goes with out saying. For me, I’m sure I think I’m more adventurous than I actually am. Maybe, many of us feel that way.

To be truly open to new ideas and to see ourselves in an objective way in order to assess our direction, progress and pace on a regular basis is a real skill. A skill I believe is worth honing consistently.

Why? Because nothing is more valuable than objectively knowing how you are showing up in the world daily. At least for me. This is important to me.

Often, I need a swift kick in the @$$ to get back on track. Or in some cases, a gentle persuasion in order to intentionally jump off the tracks and take a sketchy and arduous trail uphill into the thick of the woods where you don’t the destination.

Why not?

If there’s one thing that I have to come learn as I get on in age is that nothing is written. I know that sounds like a real cop out. “No kidding, Jim. You’re really going out on a ledge with that comment.” But, in coming to that conclusion and fully accepting that truth, I’m able to engage in each and every moment as much as I’m physically and mentally capable of doing. Or at least I try.

Getting out of a warm bed early in the chilly darkness of the morning in a sleepy slumber during the week can easily be dismissed as a task to move through as quickly as possible in order to get to an activity I enjoy much more.

But, if we’re able to form an intimate relationship with our mortality and our brief time on this earth, maybe – just maybe, we can embrace all moments in our lives. No matter how many times we feel like we’ve repeated that same task before.

Because the truth is: there is a finite number of times we do anything in our lives while we’re here. No matter how “enjoyable” or “mundane we claim that task to be.

One of my weaknesses would be leaning into – not only the grind – but whatever is challenging day after day. The idea of getting comfortable with being uncomfortable is something I need to work on constantly.

I’m – just like many other human beings – always looking for the path of least resistance. The hill to coast on. The “down” time. And I know better! It’s not something I beat myself up over, but I certainly have that awareness.

I have learned many times over that the most growth I receive is in the moments of discovery. The times when I choose to challenge myself and push the envelope a bit. And even though I may complain or find those times difficult, I always look back to them with fondness.

Whether it’s deciding to run a half-marathon and training for 4 months or choosing a creative project with a deadline and working to get it right. The idea of self-inflicted pressure does the trick for me. It forces me to rise to the occasion and dig deeper.

When will I realize this is how I want to live my life on a consistent basis? And will it ever get easier? I’m not sure. Maybe that’s not important.