Author: Jim Gohrick (Page 2 of 155)

I’ve always had little patience for small talk. Chit-chat doesn’t really appeal to me. Maybe it’s because as I become older I have a developed sense of my limited time on this earth. Then again, maybe it’s because I’m just a Grumpy Pants.

Either way, a deep connection with those who are willing to share their deepest fears, regrets, hopes, dreams and short-comings seem to be the kind of people I feel a kindred spirit to hang with.

Now, let’s be clear; these kinds of relationships take time. It’s the long game. And it’s not for everyone. There is a whole lot of trust that needs to be built up between the two in order to get to the next level, but no doubt, once it takes hold there’s not a whole lot to stop this bond.

Now, this kind of relationship interests me.

Even the word itself sounds so heavenly when coming out of your mouth.

It has several meanings, but my favorite is: a virtue coming from God.

It sounds so divine. So romantic. It’s one of my most sought after qualities. One that I’m not sure I’ll ever obtain in any permanence.

There was a quote from the book “Siddhartha” by Hermann Hesse that always come to mind for me. It’s when Siddhartha himself sees the Buddha. He carefully observes him walking from across the room or on the plaza. From head to toe, to every minute movement, he marveled at the amount of grace he carried as he moved through the space. He could only wish he could have as much grace as the Buddha had flowing through his pinky finger.

Sometimes – most of the time, I wish I could find the grace with which to move through my day. Maybe just enough to fill the tip of my small finger.

What if I wasn’t born in this country with all of the modern conveniences as well as the privileges baked into my day-to-day activities called my life?

What if I didn’t have the parents, family and friends that I was so fortunate to have been surrounded by growing up?

What if I had never met the Love of my life when I was 5 years old, then go on to be her schoolmate for the next 12 years of my life, only to become high school sweethearts that developed into a long-distance college relationship testing the bounds of who we were and who we were becoming?

What if I had broken her trust, decided to flee from difficulty or indulge in selfish behavior satisfying the ego through dead-end one-night stands?

What if I had blinked at the moment of facing a long-term commitment to her and the possibility of settling down?

What if I had chosen not to share my most intimate dreams, fears and desires with her?

What if I hadn’t seen her courageously give birth to our four beautiful and healthy children and raise them with love, patience and kindness?

What if we didn’t have our health to see them grow up into fine young adults?

What if we couldn’t laugh at ourselves and our foibles as we grow old and begin to gray?

What if I wasn’t able to celebrate 30 years of marriage to the woman of dreams and look upon our journey with Love, admiration and pride?

I have no idea. But, I dare to think of such a life as I count my blessings each and every day for the one I have.

I’m not sure if it’s important to be right. Maybe it is. Then again maybe it’s not.

Certainly when it comes to safety we want to be right, but being right can come at the cost of inflated confidence. I’m not sure that helps.

I’ve found this lesson out on the golf course repeatedly. No matter how good your playing, it has no bearing on your next swing. Yes, you feel good. You feel loose and even a bit a confidence is running through your veins. But, you could be having a career round and it takes just one hole for the train to come off the tracks and turn into a spectacular fiery disaster.

Maybe the better approach is to take each shot/situation at a time. Assess the situation with the knowledge and experience you have within you and make an educated decision and hope for the best.

Maybe being effective trumps being right. I would rather be effective in every aspect of my life. Maybe I would make more of an positive impact on the world.

Being right seems a bit hollow.

Often we find the value in people only after they’re not in our lives any more.

Whether that is professionally and/or personally. And that’s a shame.

Maybe instead of making comparisons of that person with someone else in our life, we can realize their value by imagining them NOT being in our lives. In doing so, maybe we can see a little clearer how much they bring to us.

It’s never too late to appreciate those around us, in addition to letting them know how much you enjoy having them in your life.

Who doesn’t want to feel appreciated and valued?