Author: Jim Gohrick (Page 24 of 147)

Sam Harris has a wonderful metaphor about how to handle where we are mentally and emotionally when the waves of life crash around us. We can either be in the “strike zone” or we can choose to move into a position where the wave moves under us with little to know damage to ourselves.

This is such a great lesson for allowing our thoughts and emotions to not get the best of us by choosing our perspective of the situation.

We can choose to put ourselves in a position where we’re going to feel the impact or we can choose otherwise.

But ultimately, it’s up to us.

I’ve always liked the idea of setting a goal for something you want to accomplish and then working backwards from there in order to make the necessary changes in your day to day life in order to achieve it.

Maybe it’s the simplification of our activities or the fact that my ADD can make sense of the tasks when broken down. Whatever the case may be, it feels attainable.

For example, if I set the goal of writing a book of 200 pages by the end of the year, then I’m going to have to write 400 words a day, five days a week in order to accomplish that goal (more or less). This will take about 1-2 hours a day. Am I able to do this? Sounds feasible to me.

Because it’s broken down into daily tasks I don’t feel overwhelmed and am able to climb one stair at a time on the giant staircase to the clouds I call my goal.

No matter how often it happens, when another person gives me the benefit of the doubt or places high expectations on me with the intention of having me rise to the occasion, it would seem I always do. Or at least have the desire to.

I’m not sure why this is the case. Human nature, I guess. It seems to be most surprising to me when coming from an absolute stranger. In these cases, my desire to rise up and exceed their expectations is even greater.

For me, it’s a moment where I can show them I can handle the fragility of trust they’re giving me and reciprocate with an act of unselfishness as well.

That certainly gives me a shot of dopamine and more. I’ll take that any day. Especially by getting it from connecting with others and not from social media.

The older I get on in age it seems the more I value relationships with people I enjoy. There are always several qualities in people that I’m attracted to such as: humility, kindness, people who are soft-spoken, humor – they have to be funny or they’re gone! Respectful, creative, honest, trust-worthy, unselfish, open-minded and very good listeners. It also helps if they’re outdoorsy and athletic, but I don’t want to be too judgmental.

The thing is, when I find these people, I don’t let them go and I certainly let them know how wonderful they are. I don’t hold back on how much our relationship means to me and why I value them. I find myself going above and beyond with my kindness and sometimes gifts in order to show my appreciation. that feels really good to me.

I’ve also done this with my wife and children – not nearly enough – and am so grateful I have and continue to do. These ‘gushes’ may come in the form of notes, cards, letters or texts letting them know how much I appreciate, Love and value them and why. As difficult as it is to summon the energy to put those words onto paper – telling myself, “you don’t have to do this. They know.” I never regret doing it. In fact, it only solidifies our Love for one another even more. Every single time.

That will never get old for me.

I find the holidays to be a wonderful time, with excitement, anticipation and the desire to be ‘happier’ than other times in the year.

I’m not sure where this came from. Maybe it’s a bit of residual Christmas magic from when I was a child. Then again, maybe it’s just plain ole’ ‘unrealistic expectations’ and another opportunity to be tempted to fall into the infinite pursuit for happiness by looking to the outside world to provide it for me.

This is where I believe we’re mistaken. And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve fallen for that old carnival trick. Only to wake up the day after Christmas a bit depressed – bloated and gassy – and wondering why I chose to go down that tempting road of illusion once again.

Here’s my conclusion (and I have to tell myself this in order to be prepared for the days to come); There is nothing Christmas – or any other holiday for that matter – can provide us other than the opportunity to be with loved ones, that any ‘regular’ day cannot. No matter how much eggnog I drink, cinnamon rolls I stuff down my throat or alcohol one can consume, it comes down to remaining in the present moment and connecting with others.

And maybe, just maybe it’s an opportunity to give just a little bit more away to others than we usually do.

Now that sounds merry and bright.