Month: February 2021 (Page 5 of 5)

I don’t spend a lot of my time on social media. I write this blog, I have about 4 different websites I visit for news, my favorite teams, an inspirational Youtube video and that’s about it. Often times a celebrity will make headline news – on the fluff news websites anyway – because they made a comment and the ENTIRE world felt obligated to respond and rake the over the coals for what they said, did, didn’t say or didn’t do. I’m not here to support or not support, it’s just an observation that the world is so ready to point out other people’s errors. It’s much easier to point out someone’s else’s blunders than look at yourself and ask yourself, “what is my role in all of this?” I catch myself all the time. In my relationships, with work or at home with my family.

I always find it amazing that whenever you meet someone who has been divorced, they tell you the other one in the marriage is crazy. What are the odds of that!? EVERY time!? The truth is they are 50% responsible (I understand there are always extenuating circumstances, but not every failed marriage).

Right or wrong, most of the time I find myself keeping quiet when it comes to voicing my opinion on a major platform. In fact, this is it. And as of right now, I believe I have one subscriber to this blog: My daughter. And the reason is, it’s not worth it to me to have anonymous strangers voice their opinions about me when they have no idea who I am. Why would I do that? I’m not afraid to evolve. To sit down and have an intelligent conversation with a person, but what doesn’t interest me is drama.

This “cancel” culture today doesn’t seem to be interested in resolution or compromising or active listening or empathy or even respect. That can be a real problem as we move forward.

The people I love know where I stand. I am steadfast with my beliefs. My morals. My integrity. My intentions are true. I’m not here to judge you. I would like to encourage you. Inspire you. Share my life experiences with you.

And take a stand if necessary.

What I’m referring to here is when someone tells you they are going to do something and the back it up by following through. They gave you their word that they were going to connect with you the next day. . . and they did. I remember one time when I went to visit my friend who was at NYU at the time. He was working on his thesis project and I came to help him. During that time I met some of his friends and had a lot of time to hang out and talk. One of his friend’s and I hit it off and at the end of the day he said he would give me a call. Living in Los Angeles, I took it to mean that he enjoyed our time getting to know one another and at some point in time maybe our paths will cross again. But, who knows. What I didn’t think it meant was that he was going to call me the next day. Guess what? He did. Alex is from the east coast. (I know this is a very blanket statement) I tend to find that people from the east coast say what they mean.

I like that. Everyone is not going to be your friend – I’m not saying that, but there is something solid about someone who keeps their word. You can rely on them. I have people in my life who say things and he and I BOTH know they’re not going to follow through with what they just committed to. No way! I don’t hang out with many people like that these days. I find it to be a way I don’t want to spend my time.

There are also people in my life that don’t really fit the mold of a person I want to do things with on a regular basis, but, they keep their word and somehow it makes up for other missing personality traits I would like to see. Go figure.

In the grand scheme of things, I feel like I can place my trust and direct my energy in people who keep their word and hold themself accountable more than people who don’t. It’s a small attribute, but it adds up.

And at my age, it’s enough for me to cultivate the relationship to see where it’s going. As I am pretty picky about who I spend my time with.

It’s a no-brainer for me: I would choose quality over quantity. But, it seems to me that today in our culture, more is always better. More money, more best-selling books, more followers, more subscribers, more likes, and on and on. I don’t necessarily believe that.

So, how does that translate in my life when it comes to day-to-day activities? I’m not exactly sure. If we’re talking about custom cabinetry, does that mean there is a singular focus on making the absolute perfect cabinet for one job. I’m not sure that cabinet shop would stay in business for very long as the minutes per cabinet would not be cost effective. Does it mean they build the cabinets to the best of their ability? Or do they spend a certain amount of time on each cabinet and no more to make sure they make a profit on the job?

I’m not sure. My instincts tell me it’s somewhere in between. This invisible line is where I find the most difficulty in making decisions in life whether it’s business or your personal life.

I do know this: If your intentions are true and you back that with “showing up” (doing the work), your chances of getting it right increase dramatically.

Renaissance man, Jack of All Trades, Utility Player, Multi-Talented . . . . For whatever reason in my household those names had a negative connotation and I’m not sure why. Even though my Father was a staunch proponent of being a multi-sport athlete. So much so, that was exactly what I was through high school.

However, when it came to other roles in life, such as work and my career, I got the sense I needed to focus on one and only one profession. Often times, as we do as young adults, we try to please our parents instead of listening to the small quiet voice within us that points us in a direction that doesn’t follow the logical steps our parents’ have laid out for us.

Ehh, whatcha gonna do? I chose to listen to the small quiet voice. How else do you end up in L.A? Anyway, as I got older, I began to relish and respect my different interests. And I cultivated them. Developed them. Whether it’s music, Meditation, Writing, etc. I accept them as different aspects of who I am. This isn’t some great revelation, I know, but for me it’s validation for who I am as a person, father, husband, brother, son, friend, artist and more. I accept all of these as part of who I am. I used to believe, “Jack of all trades, master of jack$#!+, but I don’t believe that any more. I can have various roles to jump into when I feel as such and it all nourishes me.

And for that I’m not cynical, I’m grateful.