Month: March 2021 (Page 4 of 5)

When I was young – old enough to know right from wrong but young enough to think the world revolved around me (5-35) – I was a master at allowing one moment (especially if that moment wasn’t going my way) to bleed into the next and the next and the next and the next. I could waste a good couple of hours for sure. If I worked hard enough, half a day. It took a lot of effort to ruin a whole day, but believe you/me I could do that too. But, it took work.

What I have come to understand since is this: a moment is just a moment. We have the choice of allowing it to permeate into our minds and reek havoc. We also have the choice to see it for what it is: A very brief picture in time. It doesn’t have to mean anything else – unless you want it to. If you want to give it power, then by all means build it up and place a lot of importance on it. Make it seem like that moment is more important than any one in the past and will ever be in the future.

Or you can see it for what it is and then move one. “It” only has as much power as you choose to give “it.”.

Pretty simple. You will always have the next moment, so don’t get paralyzed by this one.

After all, the past does not equal the future.

I have a friend who has a “Betting it all on Love” tattoo on his arm. He either liked the quote or came up with it on his own. I’m not sure if I’m ready for a tattoo at this point in my life, but if I was in the market, I would have to say that his is a pretty good one. For a few reasons.

When I hear that phrase I feel a sense of defiance. Who talks like that? Only mavericks, maybe. Artists. Mad men. And not defiance against the establishment or “the man.” It’s about going in your own direction in that face of everything that is going on in the world in this very moment. He got it about 15 years ago. It still remains relevant.

To me what he’s saying is, “I don’t care what society tells us. I don’t care how things should be done. It doesn’t matter what the chances are of it working. It’s not important what’s safe. This is something I need to do.” All of it. And more.

He’s choosing NOT to allow fear to keep him from doing what he needs to do. Wants to do. Loves to do. Must do. There are no guarantees. We cannot peak to see the results, know it’s going to work out and then say, “Okay, I’ll give it a shot.” That’s safe. Hollow. That’s not what you want. Not compared to betting it all on Love.

There’s the real treasure. It hits within. It’s a whisper. An inner glow. A flame within that burns just a little brighter. A knowing that says, I told you could do it.

Now, try it again.

There is not going to be anyone who is pulling for you more than you. As well, there may not be anyone who is harder on yourself than you. Being objective with oneself and where they are can be a bit difficult to navigate at times. I know it is for me. We can either make excuses for ourselves in order to escape the responsibility or we can drag ourselves through the ashes until we have ground ourselves down to almost nothing. Neither one is really productive.

Let’s learn to treat ourselves fairly. Take responsibility where we need to and encourage yourself to not stay comfortable for too long. No one grows living a life of Royalty. Stay a bit hungry. It’s not always easy, as the path of least resistance is much more convenient.

This is something I must remind myself often. I do my best to set myself up for these challenges, whether it be a race I enter as a runner or projects I set up for myself and my workplace or even endeavors at home. I feel better when I’m uncomfortable in my process. Because I know I’m evolving and not remaining stagnant.

Sometimes it’s nice to take some time out for yourself to relax, no doubt. But, for me I don’t like getting used to that life-style. Before long I’m ready for more. How about you?

It has been said that it takes 21 days in a row of doing a task in order to form a habit. That doesn’t mean it necessarily gets easier to do, but never the less, after that amount of time you are bound to create some momentum.

Don’t take it lightly. Use it. Every ounce of it. There has been many a time when I have been on par with my daily tasks with pre-destined intentions and one day comes along and I decide not to follow through. I come up with some excuse as to why I shouldn’t put in the work – with all that momentum behind me – and skip. And most times I regret it.

Live and learn. Think ahead. Plan for the future. Find the tasks that lead to meaning in your life and do them. Then hit repeat. Build momentum. Don’t take it for granted. And then do it again.

Before you know it you are back in the saddle.

There are some things I know – because of previous life experiences, outcomes/results, trial and error and therefore refer to scientific facts, and then there are other things I cannot prove as I sit here and write this blog. But, I will say it anyway: Lacking to forgive others – especially over long time periods can be extremely toxic for an individual’s health.

In fact, there have been studies done at The International Forgiveness Institute that show exactly that. There have been numerous studies done, but two of them in particular studied two different groups of people: Incest survivors as well as emotionally abused individuals. The results are clear. The people who practiced forgiveness were happier, healthy, less depressed, decreased anxiety and increased self-esteem.

One of my best friends passed away a few years back and they were abused as a child. In addition they died of cancer of the reproductive organs – an often seen case for victims who have been abused sexually. Could my friend have benefited from practicing forgiveness? I’m not sure. Probably. I don’t think it would have hurt. I’m not saying it would have saved their life, but . . .

When I free myself up to forgive I feel lighter, free and able to move forward – physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. To continue to learn, grow and evolve. If not, we become prisoners of our own ego and remain stagnate as human beings.

This is not my destiny nor should it be yours. Find a way: Forgive.