Month: May 2021 (Page 4 of 5)

I’ve heard it more than once: by teachers, coaches and trained professionals – there is power in stillness. Ever since then, I have used it professionally and personally when needed. I have come to not only believe it is true, but I have acquired it as another tool in my kit in order to grow, learn and evolve.

In comedy, you are taught to deliver a line and then remain still. If you are approached by certain animals in the wild and even sometimes an aggressive dog, you are taught to stand your ground and remain still. There is power in it. Resolve. Commitment. And also it is a way to remain efficient. By not expending energy frivolously, you hold tight until you know your direction. Physically, emotionally and mentally.

The older I get, the less I run around frantically hoping to accomplish my goal. Now I get clear what I intend to attract – while remaining still – and then move forward with purpose and clarity towards my target.

Believe you – me, I have attended many one of these types of (metaphorical) parties. Sometimes I’m invited, sometimes I throw my own and sometimes I will just create one spur of the moment and not invite anyone else other than me. Sound familiar?

I consider a pity party to be a place where we focus – maybe even hyper focus on our own problems, misgivings and situation and shut the rest of the world out. There is nothing wrong with pity parties, as they may very well serve a purpose, but just make sure you know you’re at one.

Don’t be delusional and believe this bleak bash your attending is the way life is supposed to look. Or that you will transcend the obstacles and problems which you are experiencing. Essentially, you are in a holding pattern. You have placed the solution on hold in order to wallow in your sorrow. And that’s okay. But know if you want to move forward you must head for the door and leave that festivity behind you.

This is the first step in moving through your pain in order to learn, grow and evolve. It’s a brave one, but nevertheless necessary.

Incremental progress can become a real game-changer when it’s consistent and happening on a daily basis. However, this can be discouraging at times, as it would appear you are not making headway in the beginning. You may even stumble along journey, but that’s okay.

The key is to show up daily and put in the work. Worry more about engaging yourself in the task at hand and forming the habit than the results. We all learn at different speeds in a variety of ways. Putting the pressure of “outcomes” on yourself when moving forward in this way can be detrimental to your progress.

With each new passing day as you rise to the occasion, you will notice a small shift and even a bit of momentum – like a gentle hand on your back guiding you in the right direction. Use this to your benefit and stay on the path. At some point in time you may feel you have done enough – decide instead to stick with it and push through. It is worth it. If it’s a healthy habit: learning to play a musical instrument, exercise, writing, meditation, creating art, etc. you will benefit from doing it long into the future.

Just take one day at a time.

Too many times – especially in today’s busy world – I get distracted from what I’m intending to do. It can be as small as not going to bed in order to get enough restful sleep because I didn’t follow through or from losing focus on long-term goals.

Because I know who I am and how easy this can occur for me, I must always have tools and templates in place in order for me to get back on track with minimal down time. You will find lists, sticky note reminders and paragraphs of goals – both short range as well as long in my workplace for my benefit.

Don’t get me wrong, I make sure I get down time to rest, reflect and rejuvenate, but when I’m in work mode I don’t want to stray from the path of doing the tasks that are important for me to accomplish where I’m going.

Yep. Life ain’t about that, so don’t spend too much time dwelling on it. I heard a story that Carlos Castaneda used to take the money he made from his books and cashing the checks. Then he would fill the paper grocery bags full of bills and leave them in a phone booth in New York City. Whoever stumbled upon the money would find a surprise. I’m not sure if this story is true or not, but the point being, Carlos didn’t have much of an ego.

It’s even hard for me to digest that statement, but I believe it to be true. Once you begin to get caught up in the trophies, awards and victories, something shifts within you and now your motivation is different.

I would agree. As hard as it is to say, I’ve learned much more while I focus on the process as well as when I haven’t come out on top then the other way around. I’m okay with that and over the years have began to embrace the rough spots. I know by now that when I come out on the other side I will be better because of it.

Sure it’s nice to hoist that state, that medal – there is nothing wrong with that and I still compete today, but don’t make it the end all. Because there’s a whole lot of opportunities along the way to learn, grow and evolve.