Often I feel a false sense of obligation to continue a behavior even though it might not be in my best interest. Ego? Probably. Why can’t I just let it go, realize this is a new moment and not feel beholden to continue down that path to nowhere.
For me, especially as I get older, I think I feel like I must commit to what I’ve always done. I’m not quite sure why I do it. It could be that I feel I may be judged by those closest to me and would question my behavior.
An example would be when I became vegan a year ago after watching a documentary that touted the benefits to an all plant-based diet. People in my circle of influence – including family members – questioned my choices and some even disapproving of my new lifestyle. I will chalk those up as ‘looking out for my best interest,’ but I would find myself having to support my decision with data that may or may not be true depending on the source.
I have since changed my diet after much consideration of several factors, but did have to endure close to a year-long defensive campaign to those questioning my decision. Deep sigh.
Here’s my point: If I want to re-invent myself today, then I’m going to do it. I refuse to let the past equal the future or any of my behavior in those days. As humans we make mistakes. We learn. We grow. We evolve. And yes we say things that get us into a whole lot of trouble. Move forward. Don’t look back. You are not the same person you are today as you were 5 years ago. You can’t be.
Those who truly love and care about you will understand that and stand by your side. After all, there may be a time where you will choose to be there for them when they stumble.
Especially when it comes from a place of Love.