Month: May 2022 (Page 4 of 4)

Years ago when my wife and took a trip to Las Vegas, we wanted to try our hand at gambling. She hit the slot machines and I tried my best to learn craps. We didn’t spend a lot of time or money, but we were young and had a good time trying our luck. When I would come back to check on her while she throttled the handle of that poor slot machine, she would repeat her mantra every time she pulled it, “C’mon we’re good people.”

I found it so amusing that she said that. Partly, because she truly believed her earnest statements would bring the big payoff and partly because she was saying exactly what I believed.

However, I’m not quite sure that’s how the world works.

Sometimes the lowest/darkest/desperate moments in our lives can ultimately be our greatest learning times as well. If we choose to learn from it rather than playing the victim. Maybe instead of asking, “Why does this always happen to me?” We can ask, “What can I learn from this to make me better, stronger and smarter?”

Our life is what we focus on. Positive or negative. If we believe we’re lucky, you’ll be right. If you subscribe to the idea that everything will work out, it will. If you think there’s no way you will ever be “successful” then guess what?

Maybe we should be more careful about which team we hook our wagon on. After all, we always have the power to choose.

It’s always a challenge for me to stick with the discipline of putting in the consistent non-glamorous work day after day. As I like to call the Hum Drum Work.

These are the tasks that are important, but not urgent such as; writing 1-2 pages of your book, any ab workout, practicing your scales on an instrument, getting up before the sun and knocking out 5 miles on the empty streets or pecking out the opening scene of your next screenplay. These everyday disciplines is what builds the character and fortitude I need to continue on.

When I allow an excuse to keep me from showing up during these moments, I feel defeated and broken. It’s so easy to give in at times, “just this once” I say. The cunningness of what Pressfield calls resistance – is one that cant’ be trusted. Never.

We must dig in. Dive deep. Push on through the fear and uncomfortableness of the unknown and not look back. The details are in the doing not the contemplating of it. I have to remember that.

As I’ve heard said, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. I suppose that’s true, but in most situations, I would rather just quietly be putting in the work.

We seem to have more respect for those who don’t boast of their accomplishments, complain of their troubles or want attention for their ego to be filled. I do. I’m more drawn to those who take responsibility for where they are and put their head down to get back at it.

Now, those who speak up about where they’re going can be appreciated as well. Who doesn’t like an energetic person who knows exactly what they want in life.

A little humility and self-awareness is all. I think we could all use a bit more of that medicine.

There was a scene in the movie “A.I.” (2001) directed by Steven Spielberg where the main character – a young boy – had the opportunity to spend one day with a loved one who had passed away years prior. The rules were simple: He wasn’t allowed to mention anything in regards to her being “brought back” from the other side to have this time together and he had just one day. No more, no less.

He chose to spend it with his Mom and I was quite touched with the simplicity and tenderness of the montage. The two spent the day doing various activities around their high-rise home; baking in the kitchen and having conversation, playing board games while enjoying each other’s company and then finally with her tucking him in for bed after reading a story together.

Spielberg was able to capture how precious these moments he had with his Mother, even if they were simple activities.

I often reflect about what I would chose to do if I had just one day with a loved one who has passed. I think it would be very similar to the film. Being with someone you care about deeply and just connecting with them while engaging in the most basic activities that both of you enjoy.

On those days when I’m feeling like a victim of my circumstances, I do my best to take pleasure in the most simple activities with those who I love and care for in order to ground myself and re-calibrate my perspective so I can find gratitude where I am in this moment.

Maybe more is better, but from what I can tell, this can be more than enough. Is that another way of saying, we should seek balance in our lives? Possibly.

Working hard at something you like to do is good. But, is more better? Often times, we – especially as American’s – tend to believe that if a little bit of something is good, then more is always better when we should be seeking balance in other areas of our lives.

It may be because we have a tendency to look at others as competition rather than allies. Maybe we should be creating support groups and friends to help us diversify and explore.

There’s no doubt we can become experts in a specific field once we have committed the time to do so, but maybe we should be asking at what cost?