Month: December 2022 (Page 1 of 3)

Back in the day, so much of my time was spent thinking about the past or worrying about the future.

Over the years, I’ve continued to cultivate a “staying present mindset.” Nothing particularly brilliant about it. Just the act of staying present in the moment and not living in the past or always looking into the future.

Sounds easy, but can be quite a challenge for me.

I miss so much of what’s going on right in front of me by doing so and I don’t like it. Always looking forward to moments that haven’t happened yet rather than investing in the here and now. I think a lot of us do it.

The problem is, before we know it, our lives are going to pass us by because we’re unable to engage in this moment and only focus on an illusion of time.

If we can’t understand how to do this, watch a child play. There is no sense of time involved. They just engage. Leave it to the grown-ups to tell them they have to head to the car. Their job is to commit to the here and now.

As should we.

I suppose this is a mediocre title with a message we’ve heard way too many times during this time of year.

But, maybe that’s exactly why it’s worth repeating. Just like an ancient maxim of wisdom that spans generations – there is truth in the repeated adages of the past.

I seem to re-learn this lesson every year: It’s always better to give than receive. And we are doing ourselves a favor by setting up a template in order for us to do so on a consistent basis.

Something I don’t do nearly enough.

Handing out a snack bag to the homeless, volunteering at a local food bank or even giving someone – even a stranger – your undivided attention because they need someone to listen to them. It can be as easy as telling your spouse you’ll clean the kitchen after dinner or telling a loved one how much you appreciate them.

There’s many ways to do it and I must remind myself of that repeatedly. Because every time I follow through and give to someone else, I never regret it. Never.

I grew up in a household where my parents were a part of The Silent Generation. Things were done a certain way and although it may have appeared as archaic, there seemed to be a lot of common sense to the whole approach.

My parents let me handle my affairs by myself for the most part and stayed out of my way. No doubt I was lucky and avoided numerous near misses. I could have been killed or injured someone else with my careless actions. However, those experiences were instrumental to my learning, growing and evolving over the years. I wouldn’t have the wisdom I have today unless I had gone through those first hand.

It would seem to me, we have to allow the youth of today to do the same.

No doubt, we can learn from those who came before us. And yes, we have more information at our fingertips than we could ever have imagined years ago, but let’s not dismiss the “old ways” as irrelevant too quickly.

There’s no life hack for hard work. For painful life-lessons. For growing pains, direct experiences, fortitude and tenacity. These are the ingredients that make up the characteristic dish called grit.

Some things just shouldn’t be avoided. Even though they can be difficult, uncomfortable and frightening.

They should be experienced fully.

I just learned something new today!

Kanter’s Law, which basically states, “everything in the middle looks messy.”

Everyone loves new beginnings and is motivated to start anew with high expectations and infinite energy. But, then we begin to reach the middle of the journey where the tires fall off, the car is on fire and we want nothing more than to give up and walk away from the disaster.

This is when most people give up. But, to realize that it’s going to be like that most of the time in the middle when we embark on a attaining a big goal and putting ourselves to the test, we can move through it knowing it’s just part of the learning/discovery process.

It’s not going to be clean or perfect. So, let’s not plan on it. Expect it to get messy. And that’s okay. Accept it.

Embrace the process instead. And continue on.

Believe it or not, it will come together. But, not unless we embrace the mess.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

So maybe we should find some time to not only work hard, but to play hard as well. Another words, balance.

Our lives will always be better with balance. We just have to put it all into perspective as some areas of our lives will be more intense than others at certain times. That’s okay. As long as we fully understand that and can adjust accordingly.

No one wants or enjoys burnout. And there’s nothing wrong with hitting it hard and diving deep in one aspect of our lives, but it can’t sustain itself as we will inevitably burn up.

I’m always fascinated when I see people who are extremely successful when it comes to the financial aspect of their lives, but have 0 relationship with their significant other. How can they be so brilliant in one area and oblivious in another? I’ve never understood that, and strive not to be that way in my own life.

Balance.

Oh yeah, and a daily romp wouldn’t hurt after a hard day’s work.