There seems to be people in the world who radiate beauty. No, I don’t mean looks. That is baked into our genes. What I’m referring to is from the grace in their bodies as they walk down the sidewalk to how they speak with strangers they encounter in a day or even how they handle themselves when the fit hits the shan. I love to be around these people. Why?

I think it’s because I love to be around others who make life look easy. I’m well aware they have probably worked extremely hard to arrive at that place, but it’s inspiring to me. It’s like watching a really great athlete in their environment doing what they do best. So fluid. So graceful. So effortless.

There is a story I heard years ago that goes something like this: There were two mean in an elevator and one of them was white, the other an African American. The white man turned to the other man and said, “Tie my shoe.” The black man looked back at him for a brief moment and then bent down and tied his shoe. The elevator stopped and the white man walked off.

Later that night there was a conference of esteemed politicians and dignitaries that gathered for topics of interest. The white man was in the audience and was amazed to see on the panel of important leaders – the man he demanded tie his shoe. He couldn’t help himself as he felt immediately humbled. He walked up to the dignitary dressed in a suit and tie and asked him why he tied his shoe when he asked him. The man replied, “Because you looked like a man who needed help.”

I love that story because it tells so much about each man. The white man would seem wounded with an ego and a bit cynical. While the black man just the opposite. His response to why he helped him seems to be so telling as well. “Because you looked like a man who needed the help.” I know it’s not meant to – but if that’s not a shot to someone’s character, I don’t what is. So telling. I love it.

I want to be that Dignitary. I want to drop my ego and help others. To give. To laugh and connect. I want to see the best in others. To inspire. I want to shine. I want to be a radiant soul.

What say you?

So much of how we feel throughout a day has to do with how we view the world. This is a choice. I don’t mean to oversimplify, but it comes down to one of two things: The glass is half full or the glass is half empty. The world is a good place or the world is a bad place. I’m going to have a great day or why me? This day stinks!

My feelings throughout a day have gone from optimistic to much less-than on a dime and I have to ask myself, “What just changed?” And most of the time it has to do with what I’m focusing on. Both consciously and subconsciously. Yesterday I felt a wave of dread and anxiety come over my body while I was working at my desk. I didn’t change positions and I was doing the same task as I was earlier when I felt fine. I had to recount my mental steps and get clear with myself of what I was focusing on when those feelings of dread came over me. Most of it was subconscious. Which means, I wasn’t even thinking about it, but my mind took the path of least resistance and went to a dark place.

I had to deliberately go through a mental checklist of what is going on in my world and identify what was a “fact” and what was a “F.E.A.R. – false evidence appearing real.” Often times for me, this is what brings on the anxiety and if left alone too long without any sort of movement or maintenance – it can become depression.

For me, this is can be a very pedestrian way of walking ourselves through times when we feel anxious and uptight and how to get back on track or the path to the light.

Remember, even behind the clouds the sun is still shining. And also let’s remember, the world is always better when we come from a place of Love, even when treating ourselves.

When we are among people who are willing to support us in our efforts to be the best we can be, we tend to rise to the occasion. We have just a bit more confidence in our abilities to move forward in the face of fear and failure.

When we speak with someone in our community, they’re able to see past our faults, hangup’s and weaknesses and point out the strengths that we may not be aware of. We’re also able to have intimate and authentic conversations about a variety of topics that both pertain and don’t have anything to do with the subject at hand.

It is in these moments we can cherish the quality people around us in our community. The friends who are willing to critically look at the situation as if they are in the mix in order to have an intelligent conversation with reason, empathy and a somewhat objective approach.

When we walk away from those moments, we don’t necessarily need a clear and defined answer or direction, but the knowing that we have been heard and there is a support group around us that is there for us when we fall gives us comfort.

After all, I don’t think attracting what you’re focusing on is about one moment in our lives in which you succeed or fail, nor is it the right decision you must make, much less having the correct answer. It’s choosing to move in a direction and sticking with that approach moving down the path one step at a time. One moment at a time with pure intentions. Before we know it, we have made progress. Before we know it, we have something to show for our constant efforts.

Doing that type of work among a community doesn’t sound quite so lonely. Not quite as scary. And who knows, maybe we can connect with others who feel just as frightened.

There is an old salesmen saying that says, “You should Always Be Closing.” Hence, the title of this blog. I prefer to to utilize that anachronym for other purposes than trying to close a sale.

I would prefer to say ABE. Always Be Evolving. This encompasses more than making a quick buck. Although, I suppose we “close” all the time with other people even though it may not be a business or sales transaction. When I talk to my wife and introduce her to a new idea I believe in and hope she’ll consider, I’m trying to close her on the deal. Right? Or when I speak with my children about becoming independent and what that takes – I’m closing them on my idea of becoming an adult.

There is no doubt we should always be moving our feet in order to move forward in this life. How we do it? There is no right or wrong answer. And looking to “close” on our next project is not a bad thing. Let’s just keep in mind what is important to us.

Short-term successes or connecting with others and developing long-term relationships.

I’m a male. I have green eyes and I’m the youngest of 5 children in addition to being a father. Those are givens, facts I cannot change. There are the aspects in your life that you can change and there are others you cannot. We cannot change a “given.”

Being able to delineate between the two is an important aspect of moving forward in life. Often times we feel like we have “givens” in our lives when they really are not. Living in a particular city or state is a given for the time being. If it’s important to you, you can move. The same with your job (albeit your choices may be much more limited today than they were 2 years ago), but you can get another job somewhere else.

We may have many more options in our lives once we can identify what we can change and what we cannot. Often times, we get stuck in a rut and feel like we’re not evolving, only to realize we have made a series of less than strong choices which lead us down a path where we don’t want to be.

You’re not stuck. We just need to be able to see the world – and your choices from a new perspective. Mix it up. Change your point of view. Do something new. Stir the pot.

As much as you may not want to hear it: If you are bored with life, then life is most certainly bored with you. If you feel stuck, then identify your “givens” and what is not and make a change for the better. Your better.