I’ve always been mystified and intrigued by the person with the “cool” attitude. I don’t come around them often, but when I do, I’m bewildered. Not “cool” in the sense of, “hey look at me,” or someone who’s popular because they’re “it” at the moment. But, more like this; if you made direct eye contact with her/him from across the room at a party, she would unabashedly meet your gaze and with unconditional Love peer deep within you as if she has a secret within her in which she knows everything is always going to work out in her favor and she wants to share that secret with you.

It’s not arrogance or false confidence. As this person has discarded anything close to what we call the ego. This is evident by her softened countenance and warm smile.

When you walk up to this person to speak with them, there is an ease with which they reply your questions and more times than not they want to know more about you than most people you’ve met. They’re pleasant and kind. They encourage you in what you’re doing and offer help, but not frivolous advice. They speak at a pace that’s similar to a bed time story you heard as a child. It’s warm. Delightful. Safe.

These are the treasures I long to run with and fill my days. Maybe – just maybe, one day I can be one of those treasured people.

Why is it we tend to look for the negative in each and every situation?

Why do we only call out the flaws in others, rather than their strengths’ or other positive attributes?

Why do we only notice our own faults and not what we love about ourselves?

I’m not sure. But, I do it often and we don’t need to continue. We can choose to see the success, the growth and how far we’ve come if we’re want.

Why not? Let’s highlight the positives, the break-throughs, the effort and the minor successes. Let’s find the diamonds in the rough and lessons learned in the process.

We all make mistakes. We all have come short at one point and most likely will again and again.

But, maybe we see the world around us as a glass of water that is half full rather than half empty. That’s the kind of person I want to be around. Actually, that’s the kind of person I want to be.

I certainly know I would benefit if I was to commit to a single act of Love towards someone else every day.

Just one. Nothing huge. Maybe small. It could be easy and it’s better than nothing at all.

A smile and a wave or a helpful hand. Possibly a hug or a moment of your time. Your patience will do or a few kind words to lift them up if they’re feeling blue.

I would be happy to do so and to make it a habit. That gift of grace and Love to another. Taking the focus off me and giving it to my brother.

Today, I will remember that it’s not all about me, but the people around us that make up our days and the loved ones that surround us late into the night. Maybe I can make a small kind gesture towards them and see where it leads.

My wife went back to school recently after taking a 26 year sabbatical. The truth of the matter is we got pregnant after one year of marriage while she was getting her master’s degree. Eventually, she had to put her schooling on the back burner.

26 years and 4 children later, she responded to her calling and followed through (unbeknownst to me and our children) by applying to master programs’ in our area and was accepted to both.

She dove head first into the material and committed to the entire process: including the huge technological advances, online submittals and Zoom calls with other classmates. It was a completely unfamiliar world since the last time she stepped foot into a classroom.

In between pick-up’s after practice, grocery store run’s and making dinner for the family, she gave her best effort to her class not knowing what would transpire. I saw her give so much of herself late at night and into the weekends. She struggled and toiled over her papers and asked for help from our children in order to submit them on time.

Yesterday she received her grade the class; 99.4%

She discovered a bit more about herself because she took a chance. She wasn’t sure if she could.

She can. And she will again. And again.

What a wonderful gift to give yourself.

Maybe it would be beneficial for all of us to look at ourselves – mind, body and soul – as a wonderful garden filled with nutrient-rich soil with infinite potential to grow and manifest anything our imagination can create.

We certainly wouldn’t expect to grow wonderful vegetables or beautiful flowers in a depleted bed in which we haven’t spent the time making sure the soil is fit for planting. In addition, we don’t expect to come out to a bountiful harvest the day after planting.

We understand the deal we make with Mother Nature. We accept the fact we’ll have to water daily. We know weeds will creep in over time, but will remain steadfast in protecting our carrots from getting choked out and keep the rows clean of strays and unwanted volunteers. We’re happy to mix in the manure and other composting material to feed our garden in order to keep the beds well-stocked in nutrient-rich soil.

So, why then are we so mystified when our health is depleted – physically, emotionally or mentally – when we haven’t spent the time to Love ourselves enough to get enough rest? Or feed ourselves food that makes us stronger instead of weaker. Or remain in a toxic environment because we’re unable to summon up the courage to walk away from a relationship with someone that doesn’t inspire us to be the best version of ourselves.

Why would we expect anything different?

The answers are in the garden bed.