We all come up against what can be the unknown, the untested and the foreign. Often times this manifests as fear.

Personally, I experience fear pretty much on a daily basis even though I’m approaching situations in my day I’ve worked through just the day prior. I’ve stopped questioning why I have these fears and instead continue to square up to them repeatedly.

In doing so, I have begun to find a quiet confidence with the process. A gentle push in the back to help me work through these times.

I see it as this: My only job is to show up and face what I’m afraid of by looking it dead in the eyes. Once there, the rest takes care of itself.

Another way of saying it is, once I’ve committed to pushing through my hesitation, the answers to the problems always always always present themselves.

This I know as well as I know the sun will rise tomorrow.

In my quest to quiet the constant chatter in my mind, and to learn more about how my mind works, I’ve taken up meditation for several years now. For the past several months I’ve been a subscriber to Sam Harris’ app called “Waking Up.” This has been extremely beneficial to me as he has guided meditations as well as mid-day reminders, tips and session spotlights that discuss different topics, reminders and ideas to stay mindful throughout the day.

One of the reminders he discussed was about adjusting our levels to what benefits us. This could be any level: gratitude, joy, Love. And it really is just a matter of taking the time to stop and take a moment to take inventory of how you’re feeling at that time and to focus on turning up the dials of each and every one of those levels. And it works! I tried it myself.

If we want to feel more gratitude, then go through a list of things you’re grateful for in this moment. If you want to be more joyful, then focus your attention on what brings joy to your life in this moment. Is it really that easy? Yes!

As we’ve discussed before, what we focus on becomes our reality. Find a way to adjust your dials to the level you intend.

Why not?!

Often times, when something happens to us – whether it be good – but most of the time, not so good, we ask why.

Maybe it’s because as human beings we function better with absolutes. “He is a bad person” or “That was a good choice.” We seem to run more efficiently when we’re able to compartmentalize our thoughts and then justify those preconceived ideas to support it.

I’m not so sure that’s the way the world works. No doubt we feel better about ourselves, as we believe we’re on the “right” side of history. But, do you remember those times when you weren’t right? It throws us for a loop and we do our best to re-trace our steps to justify our actions. However, most of the time we ignore our foible and move forward keeping our rules to the game unchanged. Why? Because it’s easier of course.

To question why something happens in order to find some kind of meaning in the event is natural – even necessary to move forward. That’s understandable. Ultimately, there’s no wrong answer.

In my experience the why, often times is hidden within the “doing” of your next action you choose to take. This – opposed to contemplating alone – brings “meaning” to the past with clarity and in a timely fashion.

Instead of asking “why,” maybe we can ask, “Now what?”

Why is it so much easier to “go to bat” for others, but not for ourselves?

We tend to do more and tolerate less in order to protect others rather than ourselves. Why is that? Do we think we can handle it? Maybe. Maybe not.

We might just want to think about giving ourselves a bit of a break and throw some self-love our own way. It probably can’t hurt. I know it can’t.

One thing is for sure: Self-guilt, shame, ridicule and the like, does not inspire one to be the best version of themselves in life. Believe me. I’ve tried.

Instead, let’s give ourselves a break, recognize that we’re human beings doing the best we can and begin again with a fresh slate. Yes, we indeed may fall again, but having as many people in our corner lifting us up to rise again is wise.

This includes being our own best friend, fan, coach and leader. After all, you deserve a little Love from . . . you.

Let’s remember that we’re all human beings and we’re not perfect by nature. Therefore, all things are possible. Unfortunately, both in a good way and some times in a not-so-good way. So, getting offended by others’ actions shouldn’t be a surprise unless we’ve forgotten the basic principles.

Maybe if we can follow the 100-0 rule, we might see the world a bit different. We may be able to mitigate some – if not all of the pain we suffer from. Here is the rule: Give 100% effort expecting 0 in return.

This pretty much sets up our expectations right from the “get-go” without being unrealistic and/or disappointed.

How could you? Let me tell you: Because. It doesn’t matter if we’re looking for 0 in return anyway.

This way we can stop placing the blame on others and re-direct it within our circle of influence – our responsibility. That’s the healthy way.

That’s how we could . . . can and will. Thank you very much.