Month: April 2021 (Page 3 of 6)

Unfortunately, when we receive advice and/or constructive criticism from other people their intentions can be less than constructive. Maybe they have an agenda or their life experiences have taken them down a path that is less than inspiring and they are projecting their own disappointment and failures on you. I’ve been pretty lucky in my life as I feel like I have gleaned more positive information than negative. Others aren’t so lucky. Maybe this is one of the reasons I like helping young people.

Nevertheless, without being paranoid or going through life jaded and cynical, we must sort through the opinions of others and decide whether it resonates with us or not. This can be challenging to say the least, especially when we haven’t had a whole lot of life experiences behind us. This is why we must draw upon the masters that came before us in the appropriate field. In addition, you have to go out on a limb refraining from being a sheep in the heard, but rather go in a direction which you feel is your path.

Surrounding yourself with loving people you trust is paramount. Having a “safe house” where you can relax, reflect and rejuvenate can make the difference between falling off the rails and following your dreams.

I realize that playing competitive sports involves the ego. In order to compete I think you need it to some degree. Probably more than some degree. A lot. The problem occurs when we need to get out of the ego in order to gain proper perspective of our evolvement as human beings. Both as an athlete and as a person.

There’s a fine line I toe when I’m teaching my son how to be an assassin when he’s up at bat in Little League but encourage him to turn off the ruthless attitude after the game is over. It’s confusing.

Here’s why. Because the older I get the more I work to rid myself of my ego as I don’t feel like it serves me in the long run. And playing sports puts your ego front and center. Because of this shift, winning becomes fairly if not very important in the grand scheme of things.

I like winning as much as the next guy, but we tend not reflect on our performance after a win as much as we would after a loss. “If I hadn’t struck out we might have scored another run and had a better chance of winning. What can I do to improve my hitting?” These are important questions. On the baseball field and off.

In the meantime, the winners are finishing up their ice cream cones and gloating about their record.

At one point in time I was doing Yoga everyday. Granted, I wasn’t in a class with a teacher, however I would watch a CD with instructions on what to focus on and go through various poses. I was spending anywhere from 15 to 40 minutes daily working through the different programs. I ended up becoming extremely flexible. Not to mention, stronger and I felt great as well. Calm. Centered.

This is a perfect metaphor for what we need to do in other areas of our lives. Mentally, Emotionally, Physically and Spiritually – we need to stretch. We should be reaching out and exercising our curiosity. Exploring and discovering new ideas. In the face of fear. Fear of “failure.” Fear of the unknown. Fear of something different.

We love routines because we think they’re safe. Then something like 911, a death of a family member or close friend or a pandemic comes along and we are shaken to our core and we have a sudden shift in perspective. And our life. Or at least I did. “What am I doing with my time?” “Who am I?” “Where am I going?” What do I really want to be spending my time doing?” “With whom?” One of my answers is Learning. Growing. Exploring. Connecting with new people . . . and old ones. Trying new things. Discovering. Being curious. Loving unconditionally. Stretching.

It can be a challenge not to allow past experiences and results to effect the current moment you’re in. We tend to bring our mistakes and unwanted results into the present only to sabotage a perfectly good opportunity for a new outcome. I know, I have done it many times.

The key to remember is: a result. After all, that’s all it is. An outcome. It’s not “good” or “bad”. The world is not out to get you. It’s a series of steps and choices you have made that end as a finished result. If you’re not happy with the end product, then make some changes in your choices and your approach and then try again. You don’t have to have an emotional fit over it. It’s not going to change the result. Unless of course, you think that’s something you have to do in order to make different choices and/or get in the right mind set. For me, I know getting worked up over the issue doesn’t help me in the long run.

What helps me is when I begin to ask the right questions. Once I do this, I am forced to answer accordingly. Many times these answers are exactly what I’m looking for. However, I wouldn’t have been able to do this if I’m throwing a fit while kicking and screaming (I only do this half of the time).

A couple of quotes come to mind regarding this issue. One is: “The solution is in the question” and the other one is (and I’m grossly paraphrasing) “You must rise to the level of the solution in order to get the answer you want.” I’ve heard it explained this way as well: “The Wright brothers didn’t contemplate the staying on ground of things, nor did Alexander Graham Bell ponder the noncommunication of things. You have to do a somersault into the inconceivable and land on your feet, contemplating what you want instead of what you don’t have.” Wayne Dyer

As I look at my own life I am overwhelmed with gratitude for all the gifts in which I have been blessed in having. From the gift of speech, hearing, having a family, a job, critical thinking, running, living in a beautiful home, having friends – the list goes on and on.

It’s not complicated. To take a moment and recognize what gifts you have in your life. Maybe it’s an understanding Mom. A really cool sister that cares about you. A coach that inspires you. Your pet. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t have to be something worth hundreds of thousands of dollars – I’ve found we are most grateful for the non-material things in our life as we move through this life and identify and understand what is important to us.

What I think is important, is to formally recognize what you perceive as a gift and give gratitude for it on a consistent basis. It gives perspective. It humbles you – keeps you grounded. It’s a way to take an objective inventory of what you have in your life that you value. That does something to you.

When the first astronauts landed on the moon and they were able to look back at earth – this “Blue Marble” floating in space, their perspective of their life changed forever. Some astronauts had profound and life-changing shifts in the way they perceived their lives as it gave them a perspective they could not forget. It changed their relationships with everyone they encountered – including themselves. How cool is that!

Just saying – note the gifts.