Month: July 2022 (Page 2 of 4)

Depending on who I’m around, I may spout my “wisdom” way more than I ask questions. My bad.

As a student of life, I know we can learn more by asking questions rather than flexing our trivial knowledge. Of course there is always a time and a place, but more times than not, I find myself focusing on my response rather than listening to what the other person is saying and diving deeper into what I just heard by asking a follow-up question.

I know better.

And so I will look for opportunities in the moment of conversations with friends, family, co-workers and clients to ask more questions rather than spout my advice.

If they ask for my input, I’m happy to chime in, but my focus is always to grow, learn and evolve. I can’t do that while my mouth is yapping.

It seems to me the British believe any challenge can be overcome or problem can be solved as long as they’re able to sit down and discuss it over tea.

I was fortunate enough to go to London a few years ago with my family and decided to jump on board the tea train as well (Full disclosure; I was already a fan of green tea). It appeared that most people chose English Breakfast and the rules were basic and I committed with all of my being: Any time was a good time for tea.

We would tour the town by walking the streets of the bustling city with cafe’s around every corner where one could get their fill. One of my favorite delight’s about London are all the parks where you can lounge on a blanket, stroll the winding paths or people watch from a bench – while of course – sipping on tea. There seemed to be a cute little building that sold the cup of goodness straight-up (that’s how I like it) with a croissant of course, in every park we visited. How lovely.

What I’ve come to realize about the English is this: It’s not about the tea as much as it’s about the time you take to sip it while connecting with others. That’s the secret. It’s just an excuse to take a time-out and look at each other in their eyes and ask another human being, “so, how are you doing?”

Tea anyone?

Unplugging from our world every once in a while doesn’t seem like it would be a bad idea. As much as we’ve grown attached to our devices, a day of taking pause from checking our phones, replying to texts, emails or looking up the weather rather than walking outside sounds like a sure thing to me.

Maybe we start by weaning ourselves slowly. We pick a day of the week that suits our schedule – say Sunday and book it. Then we turn it off and put in a drawer for an hour while we explore the backyard or go for a walk.

If we’re gutsy, maybe we can block out half a day and go hiking, a stroll on the beach or even call a friend and convince them to do the same and have a long brunch. Sounds stylish to me.

Maybe – just maybe, we can make it a weekly occurrence and discover a little more about ourselves, our friends and loved-ones and this great big beautiful world of ours.

But for now, let’s just take one step at a time.

It can be very easy for me to lose my focus in a day. It’s only more challenging when I’m working on a long-term endeavor that takes not just days, but weeks or even months to stay on task and see it through to the end.

I have to remind myself to ask the question of whether what I’m doing is keeping me on task in regards to the big picture or not. Often times, I’ve strayed off into the weeds aimlessly wandering about (i.e. mindlessly online going from website to website or taking up another activity convincing myself it’s important).

Distilling it down to what is vital in order to bring about the results I’ve intended is kind of my kryptonite. Nevermind. It’s not kind of . . . it is. This takes getting clear on where I’m going. No one else can do that but me.

The clearer I am with where I’m going, the more self-evident the road will be to how to get there.

This takes time, planning and preparation on my part before jumping in, but I know it will pay off in the end. It always has and always will.

Everyone has to start from somewhere. Most of the time that’s at the beginning. Or at least what appears to be, as the results are most likely not ideal.

Another words, while honing your craft, you’re not going to be very good at the start. Maybe you will. It doesn’t really matter. This is your starting point and where you chose to go from there makes all the difference.

However, we live in a world where everyone seems to focus on results and the finished product. As if everyone’s lives consist of selfies on exotic white beaches. No one can be a hack. A student. I’ve fallen into this trap as well. It only stops me from creating because I’ll focus on the end result rather than the process. If I don’t feel the final product is going to be top-notch then I don’t even begin. How sad.

Let’s embrace mediocre. Bad. Even cheesy. Let’s reveal ourselves as who we are: dysfunctional, broken human beings who have a whole lot of Love to give and are extremely resilient, who just want to be accepted by the tribe.

And so we must follow the words of the brilliant minds: “And here’s the secret: Merely begin.”