Category: Uncategorized (Page 121 of 158)

I’m not sure where I picked it up, but I heard or read something in regards to having an approach to life – especially a creative one – that has never left me. That is this: “Always say yes to the universe.”

What does that mean? Well, to me it means that when we are on the fence about a decision, we should lean towards the yes. I do my best to learn, grow and evolve as a person and often reflect on my daily activities/habits and question whether they are leading me to a place I want to go. If not, then I need to make adjustments to do so.

Here’s an example: my son was taking drumming lessons, and has been for about 5-6 years. He wanted to take a break to catch his breath as he also plays sports in addition to school and felt a bit overwhelmed at the time. We allowed him to do so, but in thinking about it, I asked myself whether I should keep his music teacher to the same scheduled time so I can learn how to play the drums. And so I asked myself. “Should I take lessons and see how this goes?” Following my rule, I said “Yes,” to the universe. It turns out, I have an ability to learn beats. I have been taking drumming lessons for about 6 months and can play more than one Led Zeppelin song as well as others and have kind of fulfilled my dream as a child of being in a rock band.

There are things in our lives we think we may or may not be able to accomplish. If you’re thinking about creating something, it’s probably because you have the skills and drive within you to do it. However, the only way you’re going to find out is by saying, “Yes!”

So, say it.

As a father for over 20 years, I’m able to see some of the tangible results of being a parent and how our guidance has manifested in our children. And quite honestly, it scares me to death.

The reason I say this is because, I have come to understand the importance of being a parent and the subtleties my children pick up from me and my wife along the way. Good and bad.

My parents remained steadfast in their duties, and although at the time it seemed too strict, I completely understand where they were coming from and I reaped the benefits from their discipline and “tough love.”

As a son, it would seem we spend our entire lives doing our best to receive the approval of our father, but it’s my mother that was a beacon of light for me and only fueled my desire to not disappoint her. Ever.

Her guidance over the years – especially in my younger ones’ – gave me the boundaries to explore knowing exactly what was “off-limits” and what was “fair game” as she allowed me to have my own experiences, even though she knew I was shooting myself in the foot.

I would come back to her in tears as she embraced me, gave me some words of encouragement and sent me back out into the world to learn more lessons.

Without this guidance there is no way I could be half the man I am today.

There seems to be people in the world who radiate beauty. No, I don’t mean looks. That is baked into our genes. What I’m referring to is from the grace in their bodies as they walk down the sidewalk to how they speak with strangers they encounter in a day or even how they handle themselves when the fit hits the shan. I love to be around these people. Why?

I think it’s because I love to be around others who make life look easy. I’m well aware they have probably worked extremely hard to arrive at that place, but it’s inspiring to me. It’s like watching a really great athlete in their environment doing what they do best. So fluid. So graceful. So effortless.

There is a story I heard years ago that goes something like this: There were two mean in an elevator and one of them was white, the other an African American. The white man turned to the other man and said, “Tie my shoe.” The black man looked back at him for a brief moment and then bent down and tied his shoe. The elevator stopped and the white man walked off.

Later that night there was a conference of esteemed politicians and dignitaries that gathered for topics of interest. The white man was in the audience and was amazed to see on the panel of important leaders – the man he demanded tie his shoe. He couldn’t help himself as he felt immediately humbled. He walked up to the dignitary dressed in a suit and tie and asked him why he tied his shoe when he asked him. The man replied, “Because you looked like a man who needed help.”

I love that story because it tells so much about each man. The white man would seem wounded with an ego and a bit cynical. While the black man just the opposite. His response to why he helped him seems to be so telling as well. “Because you looked like a man who needed the help.” I know it’s not meant to – but if that’s not a shot to someone’s character, I don’t what is. So telling. I love it.

I want to be that Dignitary. I want to drop my ego and help others. To give. To laugh and connect. I want to see the best in others. To inspire. I want to shine. I want to be a radiant soul.

What say you?

So much of how we feel throughout a day has to do with how we view the world. This is a choice. I don’t mean to oversimplify, but it comes down to one of two things: The glass is half full or the glass is half empty. The world is a good place or the world is a bad place. I’m going to have a great day or why me? This day stinks!

My feelings throughout a day have gone from optimistic to much less-than on a dime and I have to ask myself, “What just changed?” And most of the time it has to do with what I’m focusing on. Both consciously and subconsciously. Yesterday I felt a wave of dread and anxiety come over my body while I was working at my desk. I didn’t change positions and I was doing the same task as I was earlier when I felt fine. I had to recount my mental steps and get clear with myself of what I was focusing on when those feelings of dread came over me. Most of it was subconscious. Which means, I wasn’t even thinking about it, but my mind took the path of least resistance and went to a dark place.

I had to deliberately go through a mental checklist of what is going on in my world and identify what was a “fact” and what was a “F.E.A.R. – false evidence appearing real.” Often times for me, this is what brings on the anxiety and if left alone too long without any sort of movement or maintenance – it can become depression.

For me, this is can be a very pedestrian way of walking ourselves through times when we feel anxious and uptight and how to get back on track or the path to the light.

Remember, even behind the clouds the sun is still shining. And also let’s remember, the world is always better when we come from a place of Love, even when treating ourselves.

When we are among people who are willing to support us in our efforts to be the best we can be, we tend to rise to the occasion. We have just a bit more confidence in our abilities to move forward in the face of fear and failure.

When we speak with someone in our community, they’re able to see past our faults, hangup’s and weaknesses and point out the strengths that we may not be aware of. We’re also able to have intimate and authentic conversations about a variety of topics that both pertain and don’t have anything to do with the subject at hand.

It is in these moments we can cherish the quality people around us in our community. The friends who are willing to critically look at the situation as if they are in the mix in order to have an intelligent conversation with reason, empathy and a somewhat objective approach.

When we walk away from those moments, we don’t necessarily need a clear and defined answer or direction, but the knowing that we have been heard and there is a support group around us that is there for us when we fall gives us comfort.

After all, I don’t think attracting what you’re focusing on is about one moment in our lives in which you succeed or fail, nor is it the right decision you must make, much less having the correct answer. It’s choosing to move in a direction and sticking with that approach moving down the path one step at a time. One moment at a time with pure intentions. Before we know it, we have made progress. Before we know it, we have something to show for our constant efforts.

Doing that type of work among a community doesn’t sound quite so lonely. Not quite as scary. And who knows, maybe we can connect with others who feel just as frightened.