It’s much easier for me to be in a chipper mood when it’s Friday afternoon. Or when the sun is shining on the beach while I roll into day two of my vacation. It’s a bit more challenging for me to keep that same energy when I wake up on a Wednesday morning with a cold and reluctantly pull myself out of bed.

I vowed I would never let my circumstances determine my mood, but I’ve come to find it can be more difficult than it sounds. It doesn’t mean I don’t try.

What I’ve come to learn is this; “this too shall pass,” and/or “the sun is always shining behind the clouds.” What that means to me is that even though you feel stuck in a terrible place, it won’t last forever. You will move through it to the other side if you just hang in there. In addition, this is when you find out what people are really made of. Anyone can be happy when things are going their way. It’s when we’re in crisis mode and the wheels have fallen off and everything is on fire when you see their true colors. And most of the time it’s not pretty. I don’t like that look for myself.

We are humans, no doubt. And I’m the first to tell you I make mistakes everyday. So, I do my best to let the past go and be the best version of myself today. Now. No matter what the weather is like.

As we all continue down this road of life learning, growing and evolving as human beings to the best of our ability, we keep in mind, “where our attention goes, our energy flows.” Or another way of saying it is, “what we focus on becomes our reality.”

I can never get enough of these reminders as it keeps me focused on what I’m intending to bring into my life. It’s easy for me to get distracted by what’s in front of me – the current crisis – rather than grabbing hold of the wheel and steering my bus in the direction I want to go.

I have to remind myself multiple times a day to keep my focus where I want it to be without allowing it to drift offline into the weeds.

Staying steadfast with my focus and keeping my intentions clear and simple is the name of the game for me.

How does it work for you?

It would seem to me, we open up to others when others open up to us.

Sharing (not to be confused with over-sharing) humanizes us in order for others to empathize and connect.

We can get caught up in our own world so much, we forget there may be someone right next to us going through the same thing – or similar circumstances anyway.

When we’re able to share a part of ourselves with a trusted person, we let them know it’s okay and you can be trusted.

This is such a beautiful way to break the ice when developing a relationship with a person you care about in hopes of connecting.

There are many elements in my life that keep me humble and grounded, however the two main strengths I drawn upon on a regular basis are remembering where I came from as child and always having the courage to look around this great big world of ours to see and acknowledge others who have it far more difficult than I.

I had everything I ever needed as a child and was quite fortunate to have a private education throughout my childhood. However, it was instilled in us to acquire the awareness that there are other children around the world that didn’t have what I experienced daily.

I’ve always been an extremely empathetic person – even as a child – and have continued to keep my sensitivity and empathy close to me as a tool to to stay grounded – to remain humble.

Drawing upon those feelings as a child, I try my best to put into perspective the totality of all the blessings in my life (“good” and “bad”) and accepting them as part of my journey. There are times when it can be extremely challenging for me as it’s so much easier to play the victim, but this is when I look outward into my neighborhood or to the streets and fringes of town and even to families across the globe. This is where you can find perspective.

Years ago when my wife and took a trip to Las Vegas, we wanted to try our hand at gambling. She hit the slot machines and I tried my best to learn craps. We didn’t spend a lot of time or money, but we were young and had a good time trying our luck. When I would come back to check on her while she throttled the handle of that poor slot machine, she would repeat her mantra every time she pulled it, “C’mon we’re good people.”

I found it so amusing that she said that. Partly, because she truly believed her earnest statements would bring the big payoff and partly because she was saying exactly what I believed.

However, I’m not quite sure that’s how the world works.

Sometimes the lowest/darkest/desperate moments in our lives can ultimately be our greatest learning times as well. If we choose to learn from it rather than playing the victim. Maybe instead of asking, “Why does this always happen to me?” We can ask, “What can I learn from this to make me better, stronger and smarter?”

Our life is what we focus on. Positive or negative. If we believe we’re lucky, you’ll be right. If you subscribe to the idea that everything will work out, it will. If you think there’s no way you will ever be “successful” then guess what?

Maybe we should be more careful about which team we hook our wagon on. After all, we always have the power to choose.