Author: Jim Gohrick (Page 127 of 159)

All I know is what I’ve experienced in my life or learned from other people’s experiences. One thing I do know is that words matter.

When I was told at a young age by my father that there was no way I would succeed at my dream of becoming an artist, it hurt. It mattered to me. When I had a coach who believed in me and my ability to excel on the field and told me as much, that effected me.

Words do matter.

This is something we should consider while speaking with others.

Several months ago I was out to dinner with my wife and kids and we ran into another family that my kids went to grade school with years ago. I coached my son’s basketball and football teams at the time in order to spend more time with him as well as be a positive influence on all those young minds. One of the kid’s that was on the team 10 years prior came up to me – who is getting a law degree at Harvard – and repeated a quote I had told them while coaching the team. He said he never forgot it and it really inspired and motivated him to help become the person he is today.

Words matter.

How do you use them? To tear down or inspire?

I prefer the latter.

What say you?

When we boil down this whole thing to the simplest terms, we are all in this life together, so why not spread the Love. Just because we don’t know someone who accidently cuts in line in front of us at the grocery doesn’t necessarily mean they’re trying to wrong you. Maybe it’s as simple as: they don’t know where the line starts.

I’ve heard a quote from Wayne Dyer that befits most of my days and that is, “If you look to be offended throughout the day, you will not go disappointed.” Which means, if you’re looking to be mad, you’re going to find it. What about the opposite: Look for a way to send Love to someone throughout the day. A loved one, family member, friend or even a stranger!

Maybe the form of that Love manifests as patience, or kindness, or some of your precious time. What happens then? You might just connect with someone. You may make someone’s day. Heaven forbid, you might just make a friend!

Let’s not be quite so critical of others as we are all flawed, no doubt. No one is perfect and everyone is wrong. Maybe I can let you cut in front of me on the freeway, so we can all help each other get home safely and swiftly.

Maybe I can give you some Love. Why not.

The only way we can forgive others is by forgiving yourself first.

I played competitive sports growing up as a child. Whether it was soccer, basketball, golf or football. I was pushed to be the best I could be – better than the kid on the other team. This manifested into hours on the court, course and field working on my skills in order to refine them. I found purpose in it.

One thing I didn’t learn until I got older was how to let that competitiveness go and just “be.” I continued to push and push to make myself better, but was unable to find the balance between striving to be better and peace with where I am.

I bring up sports because it was such a big part of my childhood and galvanized my work ethic, coupled with always striving for more. There’s nothing wrong with these experiences, but I can find myself being a bit too critical with where I am and the results of past experiences. This leads to holding on to a bit of resentment towards myself.

I don’t mean to sound too dramatic, but how can I forgive the lady who cuts me off in traffic if I’m unable to let go of the resentment, anger and bitterness I hold on for myself? The answer is: I can’t.

We must let go. We have to transcend the anger that holds us back and come from a place of Love.

“Love is the most powerful and unknown force in the universe.”

Why does this always happen to me? How come on one else has to deal with issues like these? Who cares, anyway?

Wow! That’s a rough way to start your morning. Just reading the above paragraph puts me in a less than positive space.

And by the way, it doesn’t just happen to you, it happens to everyone. Yes, others have to deal with it too. Who cares? Only you. That’s the important one.

The questions we ask ourselves are as important as the information we are taking in. When we focus on “what’s in it for me?” the series of questions are quite narcissistic, but maybe you can ask it in another way, such as, “How may I serve?”

Taking the focus off ourselves serves everyone including yourself. And asking the right questions can make all the difference. As the question will lead you to the solution. Strong questions lead to strong answers.

Maybe we don’t know enough at the time to ask the right question. That is very often the case. Then, maybe a response such as, “What do I need to know or learn about or someone I can speak to so I can gain the knowledge in this specific area in order to come up with a solution so that it not only benefits me, but I’m able to run by business more efficiently and become more stable in the market as well?”

Let’s work smarter not harder. Ask questions that penetrate the problem and brings out a solution that works in more ways than one.

We can all do that if we’re just a bit more selective with the questions we ask in the face of an obstacle.

Often I feel a false sense of obligation to continue a behavior even though it might not be in my best interest. Ego? Probably. Why can’t I just let it go, realize this is a new moment and not feel beholden to continue down that path to nowhere.

For me, especially as I get older, I think I feel like I must commit to what I’ve always done. I’m not quite sure why I do it. It could be that I feel I may be judged by those closest to me and would question my behavior.

An example would be when I became vegan a year ago after watching a documentary that touted the benefits to an all plant-based diet. People in my circle of influence – including family members – questioned my choices and some even disapproving of my new lifestyle. I will chalk those up as ‘looking out for my best interest,’ but I would find myself having to support my decision with data that may or may not be true depending on the source.

I have since changed my diet after much consideration of several factors, but did have to endure close to a year-long defensive campaign to those questioning my decision. Deep sigh.

Here’s my point: If I want to re-invent myself today, then I’m going to do it. I refuse to let the past equal the future or any of my behavior in those days. As humans we make mistakes. We learn. We grow. We evolve. And yes we say things that get us into a whole lot of trouble. Move forward. Don’t look back. You are not the same person you are today as you were 5 years ago. You can’t be.

Those who truly love and care about you will understand that and stand by your side. After all, there may be a time where you will choose to be there for them when they stumble.

Especially when it comes from a place of Love.