Author: Jim Gohrick (Page 128 of 159)

Often I feel a false sense of obligation to continue a behavior even though it might not be in my best interest. Ego? Probably. Why can’t I just let it go, realize this is a new moment and not feel beholden to continue down that path to nowhere.

For me, especially as I get older, I think I feel like I must commit to what I’ve always done. I’m not quite sure why I do it. It could be that I feel I may be judged by those closest to me and would question my behavior.

An example would be when I became vegan a year ago after watching a documentary that touted the benefits to an all plant-based diet. People in my circle of influence – including family members – questioned my choices and some even disapproving of my new lifestyle. I will chalk those up as ‘looking out for my best interest,’ but I would find myself having to support my decision with data that may or may not be true depending on the source.

I have since changed my diet after much consideration of several factors, but did have to endure close to a year-long defensive campaign to those questioning my decision. Deep sigh.

Here’s my point: If I want to re-invent myself today, then I’m going to do it. I refuse to let the past equal the future or any of my behavior in those days. As humans we make mistakes. We learn. We grow. We evolve. And yes we say things that get us into a whole lot of trouble. Move forward. Don’t look back. You are not the same person you are today as you were 5 years ago. You can’t be.

Those who truly love and care about you will understand that and stand by your side. After all, there may be a time where you will choose to be there for them when they stumble.

Especially when it comes from a place of Love.

There are times when I find myself saying, “If I only knew then what I know now.” It’s a bit unfair to say this as you don’t know what you don’t know.

Maybe the question we should be asking is: “How do I come to know?” Before we answer that, I can tell you I’m positive of how you don’t find out: Hoping, Wishing, Dreaming and doing the same things you’ve always done in the past (unless of course you’re a dynamo and have been making the strong choices to get uncomfortable and explore the unknown).

If you think about any type of knowledge you have acquired over the years, you will find out that has come from a personal life experience or from being in a place where you have put yourself in a position to have a new experience. Yes, I suppose you can learn a few things by sitting in front of the TV, but that’s not the type of evolvement I’m referring to.

In order to know, we must explore the unknown. Step off the cliff of security and safety. Just as Christopher Columbus set out to do. Or Lewis and Clark. I’m sure they had no idea what they were about to face. But it was more important to them to find out vs. the risk of the obstacles they would face.

Moving forward in the face of fear – that’s courage. That’s what interests me.

How about you?

What does it take in order for you to make a major shift in your life? Not like, “I’m going to stop eating gluten.” I’m referring to a change in the way you see your world so that you change your behavior from the time you get up until your head hits the pillow at the end of the day. And how you process your universe in every moment between.

What is the catalyst? Is it a death in the family or loved one who is close to you? Is it a near death experience? Sickness? A book? A film? A story about someone’s life experience they chose to share with you? A speech? A success story? Or is it a decision you made on your own to follow that still small voice within you beckoning you to an “outlandish and risky” calling you feel deep within you is your destiny?

It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you get there. You answer the call. You stare into the abyss, embrace the fear and say, “Enough is enough.”

As I become a more life-experienced human being (a creative way of saying “getting older”) I realize how very important it is to be around people who inspire me to be the best version of myself I can be.

I don’t have much patience for other people. Maybe that sounds a bit critical, but I don’t have the time in my day for such nonsense.

This is why I’m so particular about who I spend my free time with. We must be able to identify either person. And just because someone makes you feel uncomfortable doesn’t necessarily mean they’re bad for you. It may just mean they are reflecting truths to you that you don’t want to hear. Or calling you out on your baggage.

However, usually the best of my friends and loved ones tend to not only encourage you to self-reflect areas of your life that aren’t working, they’re able to inspire you as well.

Find that gem of a person who is healthy enough to bring the best out in you as you do the same for them. We all stand on the shoulders of the greats before us. Why not have some beautiful company along the way.

I highly recommend it.

Most people don’t like getting lost in the city or in nature as it’s uncomfortable and feels a bit unsafe. However, once you survive your brief panic attack, you will never forget how to navigate that part of town again.

I just dropped my daughter off at college and left her thousands of miles away. Tough going as a parent. And it’s not easy for her. But, I know the only way she’s going to be able to grow, learn and evolve is to . . . get lost. What I mean is for her to get out of her comfort zone. Risk a bit. Obviously, not too much as I’m her father, but . . . get comfortable being uncomfortable. When we are able to identify what scares us and then walk towards it we are moving in the right direction. Physically. Emotionally, socially and spiritually. We are challenging ourselves. We are expanding ourselves to new growth.

Remaining safe with our maps in hand is certainly an option. But, we have not tested ourselves. We haven’t forged our self-reliance in the experiences of our own doubts. The illusion is we’ve remained “out of danger.” Have we? Or have we just developed a false sense of security? How are we stronger? Do we know more?

It’s a fine dance between risk and growing. If we are to get into shape, we must constantly choose this dance. As it is our initiation. It’s our baptism into a bigger world. There are no cliff notes for this story.

Besides, why would you want to skip all the intricate details. That’s worth every page turn. Every moment of the day. Each tear and most certainly all the laughs.