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Faults And All

When we allow others see our flaws, mistakes and hiccups, we are finding a way to connect with others. I’m not talking about being demeaning to oneself, but a little self-deprecation might not hurt.

Here’s the thing: everyone has an ego and everyone is human and makes tons of mistakes. Let’s get over it and move forward. It’s a much happier boat when we realize we are all in this together.

So, let’s enjoy the ride and connect with others along the way. And one way of doing that is not being afraid of pointing out your own shortcomings first. This is always a good ice-breaker and let’s others know you don’t take yourself too seriously.

Let me tell you from my own experiences, nothing is uglier than someone who takes themselves way to seriously. Just ask my kids.

What Do I Know

The truth is you don’t know what you don’t know. So, how are you going to find out what you don’t know when you don’t know where to look. The answer is simple: Merely begin.

We all have to start somewhere and usually that’s not at the top. That’s okay. Don’t judge it. But, one thing is for sure: you’re not going to make any discoveries by sitting on the couch or laying in bed all day. I do know that.

We must find the passion for what makes us curious and explore. Learn. Grow. Stumble. Get up. Discover. Get lost. Regroup. Be bewildered. Get frustrated. Become determined. Observe. Evolve. Live.

It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon and there’s a lot of great scenery along the way, not to mention all the wonderful people running right next to you in the same “race” you fail to see because you’re too focused on the finish line. Enjoy the journey. You’ll find this is the gold – this is reason you do it. It’s the person you have become along the way that makes all the difference.

But then again, what do I know.

Input

Unfortunately, when we receive advice and/or constructive criticism from other people their intentions can be less than constructive. Maybe they have an agenda or their life experiences have taken them down a path that is less than inspiring and they are projecting their own disappointment and failures on you. I’ve been pretty lucky in my life as I feel like I have gleaned more positive information than negative. Others aren’t so lucky. Maybe this is one of the reasons I like helping young people.

Nevertheless, without being paranoid or going through life jaded and cynical, we must sort through the opinions of others and decide whether it resonates with us or not. This can be challenging to say the least, especially when we haven’t had a whole lot of life experiences behind us. This is why we must draw upon the masters that came before us in the appropriate field. In addition, you have to go out on a limb refraining from being a sheep in the heard, but rather go in a direction which you feel is your path.

Surrounding yourself with loving people you trust is paramount. Having a “safe house” where you can relax, reflect and rejuvenate can make the difference between falling off the rails and following your dreams.

Winning Isn’t Everything

I realize that playing competitive sports involves the ego. In order to compete I think you need it to some degree. Probably more than some degree. A lot. The problem occurs when we need to get out of the ego in order to gain proper perspective of our evolvement as human beings. Both as an athlete and as a person.

There’s a fine line I toe when I’m teaching my son how to be an assassin when he’s up at bat in Little League but encourage him to turn off the ruthless attitude after the game is over. It’s confusing.

Here’s why. Because the older I get the more I work to rid myself of my ego as I don’t feel like it serves me in the long run. And playing sports puts your ego front and center. Because of this shift, winning becomes fairly if not very important in the grand scheme of things.

I like winning as much as the next guy, but we tend not reflect on our performance after a win as much as we would after a loss. “If I hadn’t struck out we might have scored another run and had a better chance of winning. What can I do to improve my hitting?” These are important questions. On the baseball field and off.

In the meantime, the winners are finishing up their ice cream cones and gloating about their record.

Stretch

At one point in time I was doing Yoga everyday. Granted, I wasn’t in a class with a teacher, however I would watch a CD with instructions on what to focus on and go through various poses. I was spending anywhere from 15 to 40 minutes daily working through the different programs. I ended up becoming extremely flexible. Not to mention, stronger and I felt great as well. Calm. Centered.

This is a perfect metaphor for what we need to do in other areas of our lives. Mentally, Emotionally, Physically and Spiritually – we need to stretch. We should be reaching out and exercising our curiosity. Exploring and discovering new ideas. In the face of fear. Fear of “failure.” Fear of the unknown. Fear of something different.

We love routines because we think they’re safe. Then something like 911, a death of a family member or close friend or a pandemic comes along and we are shaken to our core and we have a sudden shift in perspective. And our life. Or at least I did. “What am I doing with my time?” “Who am I?” “Where am I going?” What do I really want to be spending my time doing?” “With whom?” One of my answers is Learning. Growing. Exploring. Connecting with new people . . . and old ones. Trying new things. Discovering. Being curious. Loving unconditionally. Stretching.

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