There are some things I know – because of previous life experiences, outcomes/results, trial and error and therefore refer to scientific facts, and then there are other things I cannot prove as I sit here and write this blog. But, I will say it anyway: Lacking to forgive others – especially over long time periods can be extremely toxic for an individual’s health.

In fact, there have been studies done at The International Forgiveness Institute that show exactly that. There have been numerous studies done, but two of them in particular studied two different groups of people: Incest survivors as well as emotionally abused individuals. The results are clear. The people who practiced forgiveness were happier, healthy, less depressed, decreased anxiety and increased self-esteem.

One of my best friends passed away a few years back and they were abused as a child. In addition they died of cancer of the reproductive organs – an often seen case for victims who have been abused sexually. Could my friend have benefited from practicing forgiveness? I’m not sure. Probably. I don’t think it would have hurt. I’m not saying it would have saved their life, but . . .

When I free myself up to forgive I feel lighter, free and able to move forward – physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. To continue to learn, grow and evolve. If not, we become prisoners of our own ego and remain stagnate as human beings.

This is not my destiny nor should it be yours. Find a way: Forgive.

You can be oblivious in many different ways I suppose. One way, would to not know what is going on in your surroundings as you pass through your day, your daily tasks and when you are doing your best to connect with people. To me, this kind of oblivious is the more common. Do your own thing and not worry about what else is going on around you whether it pertains to you or not. You don’t care how your actions effect others and/or your environment you dwell in.

Another kind of oblivious seems more interesting to me. That would be to choose what you are oblivious to. Outside influences, negativity, odds, fear (in most cases), past outcomes you didn’t like, status quo, what other people think and how many “likes” and “subscribes” you have. We get to choose what we focus on and what is important to us. It’s a choice. It’s really that simple.

What do you want to choose to be oblivious to? Have fun with it. It’s ultimately your choice. Maybe it’s your mistakes. Your lack of education. Your height. Your SAT scores. Your failed marriage. It’s not to pretend it didn’t happen. It’s a way of putting your focus on what you intend to attract.

Learn from life and all she throws you. And stay oblivious.

It would seem nowadays we find ourselves doing the same tasks, driving the same streets, engaging in the same work again and again and again. 2 years ago I may have slipped into auto-pilot when it came to such matters, but these are not regular days any more. There has been political turmoil, civil unrest and this thing called a global pandemic on our hands.

I lost a friend and work colleague to Covid recently and those repetitious duties we would partake in together are now just a memory. Did I take those times for granted? Probably. Is there any way I could have understood how precious those moments were? No. Do I wish I could have them again? You better believe it.

There is a part of me that takes comfort in the repetitious doings throughout my day. As I’m sure for all of us. I think it has to do with the “knowing.” We’ve done it before, no surprises. We have a good idea of the outcome. I’m not saying fill your lives with these moments, however I don’t find myself walking through them numb to the world around me nearly as much any more. I engage in them deeper. Because I do my best to remind myself I will never be in this exact moment again.

It’s been an unwritten rule for me to not say “I told you so,” to people when it goes down just as I thought it would. My children are most likely excluded from my childish remarks – unless of course its’ something that is a serious matter.

Mostly because I don’t like it when people say that to me. I think to myself, “They had no idea that result was going to happen.” But, nevertheless the words come out of their mouth as if they are as sure as the sky is blue. Bottom line: Every dog has his day. It’s not about who is right or wrong. For me, it’s about helping receptive people, kind people, loving people be better. In fact, be the best they can be.

That is sooooo much more gratifying to see someone soar in success after numerous attempts at something they were unable to accomplish before, than indulging your ego in a snarky phrase like that.

I always strive to take each and every moment for itself and not let them blend into one another. To get muddled. I’m only human, so there is a lot of work to do. It would seem when rough patches are present, parceling out a glimpse of sunshine amongst the stormy skies can make all the difference for me. Just as with life there is death and with light there is dark, it would be hard to appreciate the moments we enjoy (the good) unless we had the other type (not so good) to compare them to.

Often, when times become the most grim is when it is the most clear to me of what a good moment looks like and how grateful I am to have it show up. In addition, what I work to do is not judging each moment as “good” or “bad”. It’s a moment. It’s an outcome. Learn something from it or not and move on. But, that’s all it is: a moment in time. It doesn’t represent what the rest of our lives are going to look like . Nor the next moment. Let it go. “Good” or “bad.”

And so we erase the slate clean as we move on knowing the past does not equal the future and we must expect greatness to come our way. Otherwise I’m convinced we attract less than stellar circumstances that come our way. Don’t get caught up with the results. That’s not important. It’s moving forward and expecting the best that is.