I regard negativity almost like a disease. It can spread quickly and debilatate you if you let it go untreated. The only difference is I believe you have a whole lot more control choosing to keep negativity out of your life. And it is a choice. Just like most things where people mistakenly believe “stuff just happens” to them, I believe you have much more control in your life over how your day plays out than you may think. Yes, things happen that are out of your control – I understand that – but it boils down to your perspective of where you are in the present moment.

I believe it was Wayne Dyer that said if you wake up in the morning looking to be offended in your day, you will not go disappointed. “That guy cut me off in traffic!” “Did you see the way that lady looked at me in the grocery store!?” “How can anyone wear an outfit like that out in public!” Get the idea?

Children are masters at their environment. They can let not getting dessert ruin their whole evening. . . . if they choose to let it.

Let’s flip the coin. What if you wake up in the morning jump out of bed and ask yourself “how many great things are going to happen to you today?” Would that not change your perspective on how you view your day?

I also read that you have a very basic choice when you wake up in the morning. Is your glass half full or half empty? If you think it doesn’t matter then think again. You are where you are in this moment in your life because of the choices you have made up to that point (along with things you cannot control). That can either terrify you or get you really excited.

If you chose the latter, you probably realize you’re in control of your destiny. That’s where I want to be.

After all, it’s not what happens to you in life that matters. It’s how you react to what happens to you that makes all the difference.

With all the distractions, devices, pressures and ways to be thrown off your game, it can be difficult to find the pace that works best for you. Not your neighbor’s or “successful” friend’s pace or brother-in-law’s with all the latest toys or friends’ with all their incredible travel posts – non of it. We must find OUR pace. The one that feels right for us in what we intend to do/accomplish/give/overcome/bring/share/stand up for/etc. And quite honestly, most of the time I feel like I’m waaaaaay behind. And then I stop and think: “Who are you racing against, Jim?” This is my life and I’m going to set the pace that makes sense to me (in a mentally and emotionally healthy, responsible, self-reliant, non-egocentric kind of way of course) so that I can leave this place better than when I got here. Or at least try.

For me it involves staying in my lane and not getting caught up in the short-term fixes that fill our bodies with endorphins for short term gains such as: posting, shopping, addiction behaviors, drama-filled relationships, binging, etc. But, putting in the work. The important, but not urgent work. This is where we should remain most of the day. If you’re not, re-organize.

And find your pace.

It has been my experience that confidence is all perspective. How do I see myself in this situation? Do I feel like I can accomplish this task that stands before me? We can waiver back and forth with our confidence depending on our past experience in the given subject matter.

It’s no secret that the longer we have been doing something, the more comfortable we feel doing it. It goes hand in hand with getting better at that specific skill as well. It is in those moments that my confidence raises and I feel myself nonverbally committing to the work in order to back that confidence up.

As I gain life experiences over the years I have come to redefine confidence. Nowadays it’s more of a belief in myself whether I have ever tried the task at hand or not. It’s not so much the skill in the specific craft, but the idea that if I focus and show up (do the work) then I can accomplish it.

Now I’m able to carry this template with me wherever I go and apply it when needed. It doesn’t always work, but more times than not it does.

And that makes me just a bit more confident.

It was about 20 years ago when I worked on a creative project in which I was completely smitten by the whole thing. I was hired (for what I thought) was a pivotal part of this project that had meaning by people who were quality human beings with good intentions and I was getting compensated handsomely for it. What else could you ask for, right?

The days were long and the work was taxing, but I didn’t care. I bought into the entire process. I gave everything I had and met even more quality people as the weeks went on. I came home tired after working 12+ hour days sometimes to be with my family. Our 3 kids were young at the time and I remember sitting on the floor in my children’s bedroom telling my wife about my day. I glowed with excitement sparing no details. It was exhausting, but I was creatively fulfilled. My cup was running over. I felt like I had patience for days for my kids. They still had so much energy this late in the day, but I was okay with it. It didn’t matter.

It was such a revelation for me. I realized at that point you could do work that you loved to do that had meaning which gives something away to others and get paid for it.

Not that there aren’t more to come, but those were the best of days.

Let’s start this off by saying this: I’m just as ready as anyone to call myself out on practices, behaviors and habits that are less than stellar for my evolvement as a human being on this earth. What I also know to be true is, I work on being an aware person as much as possible because I feel like objectively recognizing where you are in the world is more than 75% of the challenge when bringing about change in your life.

I am consistently working on my consistency. Whether that is writing a blog every day, exercising on a regular schedule or waking up with the proper perspective I believe will make for a great day. It has been my experience that it’s not outrageous acts exercised every blue moon, but small, smart consistent tasks completed on a regular basis over a long period of time where I get the best results.

That is helpful to me as I have an extremely short attention span. I remember watching a Ted Talk on this: I don’t remember the gentleman’s name, but he found he was most productive in short bursts of focused energy. About 10-15 minutes at a time and then he would take a break. He ended up applying this method to his high school studies to the point where his grades were good enough to get him into a prestigious college. He continued this approach to his studies through college and then on to a Fortune 500 company where he excelled there. He began to use this short burst of energy approach in his personal life and ended up being in The Guiness Book of World Records for the largest macramé art installation in the desert. All by spending short bursts of energy doing something he wanted to know and learn more about.

I stole a page from his handbook and have applied it to my life. It seems to fit my brain and how I approach things. Including writing this blog.

It’s a little different way of looking at how to accomplish your goals, but for me it makes sense as I can wrap my brain around doing something everyday for 10-15 minutes and see where it takes me as opposed to being overwhelmed by a large end result.

What it does for me is, keeps me consistently showing up and putting in the work. I’ll take that any day.